The big news from last night - Renata leaves with Augie for the DF and walks away from Jero at the airport. She tells Augie she will get a divorce and annulment from El Jerko. Augie is all over that news and advises her to do it ASAP. Big surprise.
Tonight: Jero runs right home and recalls begging Renata at the airport. Then he looks at his stupid self in the mirror. I’ll bet he smashes it.
Augie must be faking this, he says an annulment is a big deal, is she sure? Oh hell yeah because she married for love, for life, and Jerko married for vengeance. In fact she already checked with the padre and a vengeance marriage can definitely be annulled. Augie offers himself up as a witness (testigo). Such a helpful guy.
Jero doesn’t smash the mirror. He washes his face and calls himself a stupid. He’ll get no argument from us. He had no idea what he was losing, a love much bigger than his hate. Jero bites the towel, smells it and recalls his night of love in the shower, boo hoo. (I’m pretty sure with all the help in that house the towels have already been laundered, but whatever.)
Remember last night when Zeke overheard Alfonsina say she didn’t know who the baby daddy was? Well he’s right ticked off about it. She tries to tell him he heard wrong (oiste malo) but he’s not biting. He demands to know who the father is. She insists it’s his so he drags her in front of the altar and tells her to swear. Well she can’t do that of course. The padre wrings his hands ineffectually while Zeke blows his top and promises he’s going to kill the guy that Alf has been boinking, he doesn’t care if he spends his whole life in jail!
The padre tells Alf not to worry because Zeke is a basically a good guy who won’t follow through on his threats. Trust in God. She loudly makes him swear that Zeke must never know Doc Donor-with-a-b*n*r is the father.
Jero sits on the bathroom floor cradling his towel and recalling his jerkiest moments. That’s why Renata left him. “I hope it’s not too late. I hope your mother clarifies to you everything she told me, maybe then you’ll understand why I did what I did.” What? It’s back to the stupid mirror for you my friend.
Carlos finds Mati dusting his room and coyly hides something behind his back. He won’t reveal what it is so she leaves in a faux huff. Looks like he’s got some colored paper to make more cards for her. So childish, so silly, so amazingly hot. I want you Carlos. Right now.
Gina calls Ines for an update on Andresito, it’s slow going. Gina says the hacienda is a gem and team Jero is very nice but she feels desperate and anxious about Renata. Nata hates her; it’s a long story but now both Gonzo’s daughters hate her, sigh. She’s mostly sorry about Nata for whom she feels Something Special. She wants to come back to the DF to try to get Nata’s forgiveness.
Oh crap, it’s Doctor Demented and he’s petting poor, trussed up, whimpering Kari’s hair. He croaks that from first sight he knew she was the woman for him. Sure her dad resisted the idea at first, but she knew that if she didn’t marry him he wouldn’t cure daddy. He blathers on that even though everyone thought he was a loser (fracasado) thanks to him Kari’s dad lived three years longer than he would have. (God complex much?) For that Kari dumped (dejar - give up, forsake) that poor bastard (muerto de hambre) Lazaro. (Kari why are you crying? Head butt him in the nuts right now!!)
Doc Disgusting who can’t shut up goes on to say he provided the best that life could offer and he got to enjoy her sweets (tus mieles). That’s just gross. Gah, wash my eyes out with bleach, he zeroes in for some wide-mouth face licking (I swear I’m not making this up) but, thankfully, is interrupted by a pounding at the door.
It’s Zeke and he wants to talk to Kari NOW! He needs to find out who is the father of Alfonsina’s baby? With whom is she betraying him? Doc gets all nervous and Kari’s Tammy Faye eyes bug out even more than usual, but does she make any noise? No. She’s killing me.
The wedding crowd is gathering at casa Monterrubio. The string quartet sounds like they are playing a wedding dirge, Gonzo is Glum and Fina’s having fun dissing Renata. She says Berta deserves the most glamorous wedding in the world, especially since Gonzo threw the whole house out the window for Renata. (See vocab below for history of this saying.) Gonzo points out there is an expiration date (fecha de caducidad) on this marriage. She suggests they will learn to love and have a long and happy marriage like mom and dad. “Nope,” says Gonzo, pushing her hand away.
Gonzo tells Matias he’s not heard from Renata. As if talking to a man doomed for an execution, he tells Matias “It’s time.”
Coni shows up looking like a million bucks. Nevertheless Fina slithers up and starts giving her a hard time because Honorio is putting the horns on her. Too bad he’s cheating on her with someone younger. (Wrong!) Or someone more intelligent, or someone more lovely, or perhaps it’s someone who can give him children. (Wrong wrong wrong!!!) Fina advises that someone as cuckolded (tan cornuda) as Coni would look a thousand times better if she smiled, eh? Dang what an epic witch. Adri and Honorio arrive and Coni walks away in despair.
Nata and Augie have finally arrived in the DF and run to catch a taxi. Will they make it in time?
Matias is very happy to see Adri at the wedding. She admits she had to come but doesn’t give the real reason. She just wanted to congratulate Matias and Berta on their marriage and talk to the judge about her wedding date. Matias is truly confused, wedding date? Oh sure, says Adri, she thanks Matias who is demonstrating that one doesn’t need to be in love to get married. Heh, I like this extremely sarcastic side of Adri.
Oh boy, the quartet, oops no, it’s a trio, plays the wedding march and the sparse number of guests clap for the bride’s entrance. Matias looks like he’s about to throw a tantrum (thanks Robey!) or maybe like he’s a dead man walking.
Roberta looks fantastic, classy and elegant for once. Sele arrives, gives Berta a sour look and remarks that Berta looks dreadful (pésima) and pale. Must have had a night of pre-wedding jitters. They are seethingly civil to each other through gritted teeth and Berta suggests they make peace. Sele has a gift for her, some sort of bracelet only for Berta (just in case the wedding doesn’t last) and then a baby thing, diaper or onesie I couldn’t tell. A couple of ladies run up and gush is Berta expecting? Berta redirects the gossip mongers.
Sele demands an apology from Berta. “Perdoname,” Berta sighs. Sele, satisfied that Berta’s been humbled, asks about Berta’s desperate call last night. Berta tells her never mind, she handled it.
Nata and Augie pay a taxi driver to get them to La$ Loma$ ASAP. Of course they get stuck in a huge traffic jam. Augie has to bribe the driver to use his cellular. She calls Adri who pleads with Nata to hurry, the ceremony’s about to begin!
Meanwhile Fina entertains herself by reprimanding the wait staff. Her lawyer stoolie horndog pal pulls her into the study to tell her he can’t take any more (ya no puedo más) and he plants a big one on her. The guy has a serious lack of social skills, at her daughter’s wedding? What an idiot. They are interrupted by Gonzo calling for her which gives her an excuse to rush out.
Gonzo tells Fina he’s afraid Nata’s not going to make the wedding. She gleefully mentions she called the hacienda that morning but couldn’t reach Nata, instead she spoke to HIS friend Regina. He knew she was there, right? He doesn’t want to discuss it. Good move on his part. Fina gets all clingy and sighs she remembers when they signed their wedding papers. Poor Gonzo looks like he expects yet another onslaught of the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune.
Adri approaches the Judge and asks for a huge favor, could he please postpone the ceremony for a half an hour or so? He doesn’t understand why but says he can do it. Fina overhears, shoves Adri out of the way and demands that the ceremony begin ASAP. She turns on Adri, grabs her arm and hisses for her to butt out of her ex-galan’s life.
Let the ceremony begin! Berta slowly rises and is the last one to arrive to the judge. Fina instructs her to walk and smile. The judge begins and our main players glance around triumphantly (Fina), dejectedly (Berta), heartburny (Matias) and nervously (everyone else).
Stuck in the traffic jam, our resourceful heroine sees a guy on a motorcycle. Seconds later Augie is left behind while Nata zooms off on the back of said bike.
The ceremony continues and Matias determinedly says “I do”. It’s Berta’s turn and she hesitates. Fina gives her the stink eye. Nata speeds up the street on the bike. “I do,” responds Berta. Fina breathes a sigh of relief, Berta signs the papers, the motorcycle zooms, Matias hesitates, Nata jumps off the bike, Matias looks at dad, Nata sprints, the violins crescendo, Nata bursts in, Matias signs, “I now pronounce you husband and wife” sentences the judge. The crowd claps, the couple reluctantly touch lips, Fina gloats and Nata is impactada.
Meanwhile Jero, looking dapper in a suit, tells Carlos to take good care of Regina. She hopes he and Nata will reconcile and that Nata will forgive her. Regina tells him it’s time to regain Nata’s love and confidence. (Good luck with that buster, as in marriage buster.)
Nata gives Adri a hard time about not stopping the wedding but Adri explains that Fina caught her. Just then Nata is yanked away by guess who? Yep, Malafina who tells Nata she told her not to set foot in her house. She pushes Nata toward the door and threatens Adri. But Adri’s a good friend and follows Nata into the inferno to stand up to Fina.
Outside, Nata insists she’s going to do what she has to do to keep Berta from fooling everyone. Fina shrieks that Roberta is pregnant. Nata doesn’t care, Berta destroyed her life and everyone is going to know it. Fina guffaws, don’t be stupid, Nata’s life is her own problem. Nata says she can prove it. Fina yells not in HER house, now get out! Fina calls after Adri but it’s too late, our clever friend has made a beeline for the reception.
She finds Gonzo and Matias and demands they follow her outside where Fina won’t allow Nata into the house.
Outside, Renata says she knows Fina hates her. Fina hisses that Nata is an encumbrance (Me estorbas), she’s a nightmare. Fina threatens, Nata gasps, and the men break it up. Fina insists Nata is crazy and Nata swears she came to unmask Renata. Matias and Gonzo want to know what Nata knows, what’s so important? Come into the house to talk. Fina shrieks “No Way!” Gonzo shuts her down and says they’ll talk later.
More tormenta y la tensión (Sturm und drang): At home Ezequiel is crying himself a river when his son approaches. Alfonsina bangs on the door and Zeke prohibits the kid from answering, mom’s not going to live with them anymore. She begs and cries outside the door, the kid cries that he wants his mami. Papa, papa! Zeke tells the kid he loves him and will never forget him. Mami’s in, Papi’s out, and mami begs the kid to forgive her, it’s all her fault. I’m thinking mom and dad could have picked a less traumatic way to break the news to their kid. I wonder if there is a child psychologist in town?
Oh crap, are we ready for more? Constanza tells Honorio she knows all about his woman’s pregnancy. QTH???? He swears Blanca’s not expecting any son of his. Tough, Coni’s got no doubt it’s true.
Sele and Berta gloat over Coni’s misfortune. Matias interrupts to pull Berta away for a little discussion.
Honorio’s in the den trying to call Blanca but for once she doesn’t answer her phone. “Why Blanca, why do want to destroy my life this way?” It’s the question we all want answered.
Elsewhere BatS**tCrazy Blanca, whose curls get tighter the crazier she becomes, sneers at her phone and vows she’ll make him beg.
Honorio continues to plead his case but Coni will hear none of it. He swears Blanca is lying and why won’t she believe him? Because he destroyed her confidence, she says.
Berta Monterrubio de Monterrubio joins the other Monterrubios and Matias announces Renata is inside a room waiting for them. Berta’s sad mouth transforms into the Giant Chops of Terror. “What’s Renata doing there? She’s only come to ruin my party!” Fina insists nothing Nata has to say is more important than Berta’s wedding.
Right on cue Berta’s heart condition kicks in. Even Nata comments on the convenience. Nata holds up the “R” necklace and asks do they know where she found it? Well she (Nata) has been blamed for Roberta’s romances. Nata says Jero found the necklace in his brother Rafa’s belongings. Rafa committed suicide over a woman who betrayed him and that woman is none other than Roberta, the owner of the necklace.
“IT’S NOT TRUE!!” thunder the Giant Chops of Rage. ”Yes it is,“ retorts Nata. It’s Berta’s fault that Jero thought Nata owned the necklace, that he thought Nata wrote the letter dumping Rafa. It was Berta in the photo given to Rafa and signed with an “eRRRRRRRRRe!” and she made sure Jero would blame Nata. Nata tells Matias that Roberta fooled them all. She was in a secret romance with Rafa and when he killed himself she made sure all the blame would fall on Roberta. Jero thought that the famous La Bonita was Renata and guess what, Jero married her for vengeance! To pay her back for his brother. Roberta clutches her chest and pants. Fina stands by watching Berta have her heart episode and the sisters rip each other apart.
Renata cries that she’s totally innocent and the one responsible for Jero’s hate is Roberta, only Roberta!
Brava Renata, what a performance. And you almost got it right.
Avances: The voice says “Renata couldn’t stop the wedding so now she’s going to unmask Roberta. ” Well we already knew that and there weren’t any previews.
